I would just like to say this can be a hard time for folks.
There can be pressure for what we “should” feel have, receive or give. This can be a brutal time for some. As much joy as I wish all, I also really get that family stuff can become the most acute, as can so many things that leave us feeling out of the “holiday spirit”. Current events can leave people grieved, and anniversaries or firsts without loved ones just can be crushing. Perhaps we feel alone, away, unpartnered, isolated in a world that is dripping with togetherness. Gifts that could be a joy to give can have their own pressures and standards we impose on ourselves.
This season need not meet some standard, you are not a failure. Be gentle with yourself. Perhaps being a bit kind to yourself is a gift you can give yourself. Reach out when you can to someone you trust.Perhaps take stock of all the things you accomplished this year, or went through. If things feel the same as they did last year, just notice- you might be on a higher rung, (I like the image of a spiral of life), even though it still hurts and feels so similar. Maybe there is a church, synagogue, mosque, temple, park, beach or dance/yoga studio where you find comfort. Perhaps a tree or rock, or bird or particular sunset you remember brings you to a part of you that felt like YOU – maybe that is worth exploring. Maybe you felt strength or spirit or connection there.
You are not alone with these feelings they are as pervasive as the bubbly cheer, and sometimes people experience both intensely now. This is not a permanent state or time, this is a season, and there are other seasons, and times even moments that feel good. Looking at cute kitties, taking a walk, writing out your feelings- all can help. I wish you comfort, I wish you support. I wish moments that feel connected to your spirit, nature or soul and I understand if that feels too hard.
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