Aimee Mullins by David Shankbone, at Tribeca Film Festival 2008 as displayed on Wikipedia.org

In this TED talk , by Aimee Mullins, she questions what the definition of disability does to us, as individuals, and society, looking through the lens of her own life.

“Over coming adversity,” she says is something she is always asked to talk about, but she says it never felt right. She suggests that it’s not the getting past, but learning to “dance” with adversity that  has allowed her to be who she is.

Aimee Mullins, along with inspiring,  provides a wonderful opportunity for us to think about how we define health/sickness, or wholeness/brokenness, and so on, and how those definitions impact ourselves and others.

I would love your comments on this post.

The pressure we sometimes feel — from others or ourselves — to be or to act in a certain way can in itself make us unhappy or anxious. The cartoon * does a good job of illustrating something that many of us experience at some point or another in our lives.  The man in the cartoon feels overwhelmed. He makes a valiant attempt to choose a tea, perhaps to calm himself or to achieve some small amount peace; however, the woman behind the counter seems a little ill equipped to help him on his path.

The tea shop customer is reaching out in the midst of his anxiety, out of an instinct to connect with another human; this instinct is a major key to his to feeling better. We try this initially with our earliest caregivers (reaching for a parent’s leg when scared, for example); this urge is a fundamental component of mammal behavior (1).

Being where we actually are, emotionally, is sometimes not peaceful, ecstatic, or serene; but with the help of an attuned ,compassionate witness we can begin to be and to notice ourselves in new and different emotional states. Growing to accept our feelings in the presence of a caring other can bring a new sense of groundedness  (2). This type of caring may be amplified and focused in a therapeutic relationship with a healing professional, but it can also happen at any time in everyday life. When you have had really good conversation with a friend for example. We can observe this in other social species, such as dogs and polar bears (3). What happens in our whole system during social engagement is phenomenal (4). The literature is overflowing with evidence for the “talking cure”, but it might be more accurate to call it the “relating cure.”
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Footnotes:
*Copyright 2009 by Shannon Wheeler. Used by permission

1) S. Porges

2) A.Shore

3) Healing Power of Play (my first post)

4) S.Stanley

* Editorial support from Erik Rader

We know, and so do the animals, that the bears could do the dogs some harm. Why don’t they? Somatic Transformation innovator and master, Sharon Stanley, reminded us in a recent training that the beauty of play is it allows us to venture into vulnerable territory while maintaining a mutual understood relatedness.

The “joker” in school (or at home) knows it. Think of the comedians who have helped the country deal with issues of race and so many other issues  that otherwise seemed intractable were it not for an opening provided by humor. When the element of play is introduced we often can tolerate emotional states that usually would seem too dangerous. Play builds a safety that might not other wise exist by allowing the players to stay in relationship.

So the play we do is often our way of staying emotionally involved with one another in spite of anxiety or nerves, it’s a way we care for ourselves and others and have fun. There is a fine line though because jokes can often be veiled cruelty but that feels very different. What happens when you remember feeling the different kinds of play,when you felt play got you through something, or a time when a joke was cruel? Notice how both of those thoughts might feel different.

Forgive the creative spelling and grammar, those were never my skills set , but I love what I do and so I want to share ideas as they come, so bare with me.

It’s a big step just coming to this site so welcome – take a moment to feel it out.

Whether your pain feels like you have had it your whole life or has come on  suddenly therapy can help. You can feel better, less isolated and your own wisdom can begin to emerge. Bad experiences can loose their sting and become a part of history.

Maybe you’ve suffered a recent loss, a death , separation, divorce or trauma of some sort.

This kind of event can bring feelings up that you didn’t even now you had,support in navigating this time can be the critical difference in how you come through it.

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Do you find yourself in the same spot over and over? Are you fighting with your spouse, children or feel unsatisfied with you life, school, work or just don’t quite know the next step is?

The cure of psychotherapy is in the relationship that evolves between client and therapist. I work gently and and through the relationship we develop to facilitate a process that is uniquely suited to your needs. Therapy can bring about change that arises from inside you the client that is both enlivening and lasting. I am proud to provide an evidence based mind body approach that gently and effectively helps facilitate the change you want for yourself. This change is nothing short of change in your brain chemistry. This will change your relationships with yourself, those you love and the world around you and bring you greater satisfaction in your life as it opens up to you in new ways.

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